You followed along faithfully through my journey of PCOS and Endometriosis, but my story takes a very sad turn and here is where it gets even more personal.
Fetus week 9-10 (Photo credit: lunar caustic)I shared with you about one of my miscarriages on the post about endometriosis, but after I gave birth to that second beautiful baby my husband and I decided we wanted more and we tried. I had no trouble getting pregnant to him he had an abnormally high strong sperm count, but I just could not bring these babies to term.
I would miscarriage anywhere from 6 weeks to 18 weeks. The later term miscarriages where the worse. The one that sticks out the most is when they decided to induce labor after the babies heart had stopped and make me deliver, granted the fetus at 18 weeks is about the size of a medium potato, the pain is not physical but the pain in my heart will last a lifetime.
They found out later one of the problems was I did not produce progesterone in early pregnancy. If I have every given advice in my life to a woman who miscarried and could not find a reason, it would be this “PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Insist your doctor just let you try the progesterone suppositories” You just never know!!! They found this by fluke, it’s not something they really test or even look for. If your doctor refused, look for another doctor who won’t. It won’t hurt you!
My ectopic pregnancies came where my last two pregnancies. The first one I went into the hospital in pain but it did not rupture but the doctor who was on call rushed me for emergency surgery, instead of giving me a medicine that could have easily dissolved the pregnancy. I found this out 2 years later, that, that tube could have been spared and the second ectopic pregnancy may have never taken place.
The second ectopic pregnancy was an emergency situation, it burst at 6am in the morning and I did not know. I was uncomfortable, but I was very very hot. I got out of bed and went to take a shower to cool off. It was my oldest daughter who found me in the shower passed out. My husband (at the time) got me out and I remember talking to him but not what was said. He called 911, I remember the ambulance drivers asking me if I could walk, but at this time I could no longer speak. I remember being in the hospital and the anesthesiologist asking me questions to which I thought I was responding to, but nothing was coming out of my mouth, till I screamed at her I had already answered her.
My husband (at the time) told me my mouth was moving but no words where coming out, until I bellowed that scream. I was in pain and what I didn’t know then was I was internally bleeding so bad the blood was pulling around my heart and I was going into cardiac arrest.
I remember hearing she may not make it. That was the last I remembered, then I woke up and found out I had to get blood transfusions and I would never have children again under any traditional method. That was something I learned ten and half years ago. I have never come to terms over it; I am still a bit bitter about it. Especially when I read about bad parents or mothers killing their babies and sticking them in trash cans.
After this ectopic pregnancy, my husband of the time, decided to walk out and start a new family. What made matters worse about that is the constant lies from him, about wanting to fix our family, only to find out 5 months later he was expecting a child with someone else. Knowing I could not have children, I think this was the ultimate slap in the face, but in the end I will be ever grateful for him for giving me that lovely daughter you read about in the endometriosis post.
But, this is not yet the end of my story. I have one more installment and I am sure many of you are wondering what could possibly be next, but my next post is where I really need the readers of Parsimonious Pash to give me there insights. I am struggling with a very hard decision.
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Latest posts by Melissa Cwynar (see all)
- Infertility at 37 Hard Choices - June 16, 2013
- The Struggle of 12 Miscarriages and 2 Ectopic Pregnancies - June 14, 2013
- Seriously… Secondary Infertility Endometriosis What? - June 11, 2013
My mum did not struggle through 12 miscarriages or 2 eptopic pregnancies…For whatever reason, she suffered the loss of 7 babies over 10 years, 1 being my identical twin sister. 19 years after my birth she officially found (after 10 years fighting) that I have stage IV Endometriosis, Adenomyosis, and PCO…I asked for an ovulation test before my PCO diagnosis which showed I ovulate (when I do) 3 days before my period 🙁
… We don’t know if I have my mothers issue (on top of my own). My biggest fear is ‘Following in her footsteps’. We’ve frozen my eggs, I’m losing my left ovary…
Your story gives me hope. As sad as it is…it does give me hope… Thank you.