• Home
  • About Me
  • Contact Me

Persevering Momma

Taking The Day One Spoon At a Time

  • About
  • Parenting
  • Reviews
  • Contact Me
  • Media Kit
    • Expanded Giveaway/Review Policies
    • Disclosure Policy
    • Sponsorship & Advertising
  • Giveaways
  • How To: For Rafflecopter!

I Am Stronger Than My Abuser Ever Thought: My Experience With Domestic Violence

December 8, 2014 by Ashley Leave a Comment

I use affiliate links on my blog. When you click on my links, I may make a commission. Thank you for supporting my family!

Abuse. What is abuse in a relationship?  Honestly, I hate the word abuse; probably because I am still in denial, but that is not the point.  Abuse can be so many things and it can mean so many different things to different people.  The definition of abuse according to Google is

1. use (something) to bad effect or for a bad purpose; misuse. 2. treat (a person or an animal) with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly. 3. speak in an insulting and offensive way to or about (someone).

According to this definition most people have probably gone through some sort of abuse in their lives.  To know if you are/were going through physical, emotional, or verbal abuse in a relationship can be a little tough to know.  If you are someone like me who over analyzes everything you might feel like you talk yourself in circles about this with your significant other or family member.  If that is the case then, just maybe you will want to think long and hard about everything because you might be suffering from a form of abuse.

domestic violence

Why am I writing today?

Here is the thing.  It took me a long time to realize it, but in my previous relationship I was dealing with abuse on some level on a daily basis.  I rationalized the abuse each and every time.  It was a hard decision to walk away, but I know that I did the right thing.  Writing all of this down is hard for me, just as was writing down my story about choosing adoption for my daughter. (To read more on that Go Here.)

So here I go.

Know that it is unacceptable for someone to violate your body, mind, or spirit. Be a survivor. Please. -Deciphering Morgan

My Experience With Domestic Violence (Abuse)

I was in a pretty serious relationship with my ex-significant other for seven years.  In that seven years we lived together for six years, during which time we battled through living off of very little money and giving up a daughter for adoption.  Things never came especially easy for us and 90% of the relationship only one of us would have a steady job at a time.  It was very short-lived when we both had jobs and only had one car.  I would love to be able to tell you that things were pretty perfect at the beginning, but that is not the truth and I am not going to sugar coat anything here today.

No, today is a day for truth, and honesty because I want to be able to help some other woman or man realize that they are not alone and that they are not the only ones out there rationalizing their relationship.

From the beginning there was a decent amount of fighting between the two of us.  Our fights were loud and angry.  There was a lot of shouting and occasionally hands would be put on each other.  I am admitting that not only did he put his hands on me, but that I also put my hands on him.  I never really had a chance against him, but some of the things he would say would really make my blood boil.

…he made me feel worthless and for the longest time I really believed that I deserved everything he said and did to me.

I always hated and dreaded these “arguments” that we would have.  They would begin with him being angry about something I did or something I did not do.  He would snap at me and raise his voice.  When he would do this I would curl up, cower, and not speak.  I did not know what else to do.  I hate fighting.  I hate confrontation. And I have always dealt with arguments poorly (just ask my parents).  My reaction to him raising his voice always made him even more angry.

I could never find the right words to express what I was thinking or feeling at the time; that there caused fights on top of fights.  It was those moments when he would move closer.  He would get in my face.  It has been almost a year now and I can still feel his hot breath against my skin, hear his heated words ring in my ears, and feel his strong hands on my body.  I know it is all over now, but those things never leave.  They will forever scar my memory.

I am stronger now knowing that I am not alone.  I know that I left him and I am a stronger person because of it.  I came here today planning on telling you more intimate details about my story, but now I realize I have said all of the important details.  You do not need to hear about the times I was hurt, or the specific fights that are crystal clear in my memory.

You are NOT alone. You are NOT trash.

Your abuser might tell you any such things, but know that they are not true.  I went far too long believing his lies, trusting him unconditionally and blindly because I felt like I had no other option.  I was weak, but I am NOT weak any longer.  I am strong and I will persevere despite any road blocks that are thrown into my path.

If you feel like you have no way out, or no one who can help you then you should reach out to the Domestic Violence Hotline.  I found a way out on my own, but it was not easy.  People are out there who will help you.  Take advantage of what they can offer for you. Feel free to reach out to me if you just need an ear or if you would like to share your story.  I am here for you because I know what it is like to feel completely alone.

The following two tabs change content below.
  • Bio
  • Latest Posts
My Twitter profileMy Facebook profileMy Google+ profileMy LinkedIn profileMy Instagram profileMy Pinterest profile

Ashley

Owner at Persevering Momma
Ashley is a 30-something woman that recently made some huge changes in her life. She grew up as a Chicagoan and moved to Indiana where she now resides with an amazing man their two cats. She is a new momma and loving every moment with her little man. She also enjoys spending time learning new things, reading, playing video games, spending time outside, and hiking when she is up to it, fishing, and in general loving life.
My Twitter profileMy Facebook profileMy Google+ profileMy LinkedIn profileMy Instagram profileMy Pinterest profile

Latest posts by Ashley (see all)

  • Yumi Baby Food Review – Is It Worth It For Your Family? - September 5, 2020
  • #CampWarnerBros – Week 6 – Alex & Me Family Workout - July 29, 2020
  • DIY Glowing Latern - July 27, 2020

Filed Under: Featured, Health Tagged With: United States

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Let’s Get Social!

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Newsletter

Categories

Family

Yumi Baby Food Display

Yumi Baby Food Review – Is It Worth It For Your Family?

My Yumi Baby Food Review Is fresh, organic baby food worth it?  Yumi baby food is a prepared meal service dedicated to infants and toddlers. They offer new seasonal flavors every week. The reason for the seasonal flavors is because they order their produce weekly from farms and make everything fresh for you. Their food is […]

#CampWarnerBros – Week 6 – Alex & Me Family Workout

This is a sponsored post for Camp Warner Bros featuring Alex & Me and some great family activities! This week we are featuring Alex & Me and are learning about disciple and setting goals. This is perfect for my 4 year old son. We have been working hard to teach him more responsibility now that […]

DIY Glowing Latern

Learn how to make a fun DIY Glowing Lantern with your little one!

#CampWarnerBros – Week 5 – DIY Teen Titans Character Banks

This is a sponsored post for Camp Warner Bros featuring Teen Titans Go! Vs. Teen Titans and a fun DIY Bank activity. This week is another fun one for us. We love Teen Titans and I love sharing my love for it with my son. He helped me make popcorn to watch the movie together […]

More Posts from this Category

Parenting & Family

Making My Life Easier with The Baby Pallet

Some days I feel like I am still in shock over being pregnant with this amazing little boy and when I feel that way the panic sets in.  I want everything to be perfect for my little boy and that means that I want to be able to keep him safe on the go.  I […]

Tips for Preparation and Recovery After a C Section

(Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional, only a mother sharing her experience. Everyone reacts differently to child birth and a c section so consult with your doctor if you have any questions.) When I got pregnant the first time over seven years ago I admit that I did not know what I was getting myself […]

The Beauty of Being an Eco-Mom with Ecocentric Mom

Life has been a little crazy and amidst the craziness I have been thankful to find some really great companies that are helping me become the Eco-Mom that I am hoping to become.  You might wonder what exactly an Eco-Mom is, but I can explain that for you.  An Eco-Mom is a mom who wants a […]

clean cloth diapers

How To Clean Cloth Diapers Without Changing Your Routine

One of the daunting tasks to cloth diapering your child is cleaning cloth diapers. I was terrified that I would ruin all of the diapers by laundering them incorrectly.  When I first started looking into cloth diapers I ran in the opposite direction because everything sounded so complicated when it came to how to launder […]

More Posts from this Category

Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy

© 2021 · Handcrafted with d by 2 Pups Design Co.

We use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. If you continue to use this site we will assume that you are happy with it.Ok