Don’t let the title fool you, I wasn’t actually trying to get pregnant at the age of 15, but that was the age I was when the doctor decided to dash all hope and dreams of ever becoming a mother.
Right around the time I turned 14 I started having problems of the female nature, horrible cramps, immense pain, periods that where very sporadic and very heavy but the doctors insisted it could not be female issues and sent me off to a gastroenterologist where I had a ton of tests done that no 14 year old female ever wants to go through.
I remember it being close to my 15 birthday and the gastroenterologist told me there was nothing he could do for me because he could not find a problem, the gynecologist still was insisting it was not female issues and sent me off to another gastroenterologist. I refused to go and then followed up again with my regular PCP at this time; my family doctor had brought in another doctor because he knew he was outgrowing his practice. She took one look at my records asked me a few questions and said I bet its PCOS. I was stunned, but happy someone could finally put a name to what was wrong. But what was this PCOS and how would they fix it? Off to a specialist in Pittsburgh, which is about an hour north of where I live, I learned PCOS was Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome. Basically PCOS was effecting my periods, my hormones, and ovulation. My periods where very irregular and I was in terrible pain because instead of releasing an egg, it would stay and turn into a cyst that would need surgically removed.
By the time I turned 19, I had already had 6 surgeries to remove cysts, they do what’s called wedging of the ovaries where they remove the cysts and cut small sections of the ovaries away. At this rate I feared I would not have any ovaries left. My stomach was starting to look like a road map due to the scars. I was young and hated my body. I dealt with gaining weight, I was always a smaller girl, but here I am putting on weight due to the PCOS because even a low caloric diet and exercise would not correct due to the fact that energy, in the form of glucose was stored right away as fat. I dealt with excessive hair, in the way I could shave my legs and hours later they would be prickly, but if you look at my legs after shaving you can still see the tiny dots of black hair under the skin. I was young, this is not what I wanted to look like, I wanted my body back and I certainly hated how much excessive hair came with PCOS, but most of all, I wanted to be a mother!
After having a surgery at 19, I took off out of the area with my husband at the time, who has since passed away. When we decided to come back I was feeling pretty sick and he kept insisting I take a pregnancy test. I laughed at him and told him it was probably the stomach flu, but he insisted, bought it and told me to take it.
I tossed it to him, and let him watch it because I knew it was not positive. When he told me congratulations mama, I remember throwing something at him, and saying don’t do that, it’s cruel. I humored you now let it go. He forced me to look, and when I saw the plus sign, I still did not believe it. There was no way no how I would ever have a child. At this time I only had ¼ ovary on one side and ½ on the other side. Periods that came maybe twice a year. No way, this was not true it was a false positive.
4 months later, yes I was 5 months at the time I found out, a beautiful baby girl was born to me on Christmas Day. She was my miracle. The doctors who deliver her could not believe she was ever in existence. She was never supposed to be. She was truly my Christmas miracle.
Her father passed away the following year, around Christmas time and I have raised her myself all my life, later I went on to remarry and this is not the end of my story. Please stay tuned for the rest.
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